Deep Waters

Deep Waters

When waters come, what do we do? When challenges present themselves in new ways and new faces, how do we react? When it isn’t what you thought, what path do you choose?

God’s promises say he will be with us in deep waters. Deep waters can be scary. They cannot overcome us. Because we hold to a promise that is deeper still and anything but surface or trite. We hold to the promise that we aren’t alone in the deep waters.

My thought today as I read this scripture is on WHO is with us in the waters. The creator of all we see - the one who wrote the code of the Universe.

He is more than comfort, he is inspiration and wisdom and creativity and power. Deep waters are the mission for a submarine. Deep waters are the path to an ocean liner. Deep waters inspire scuba divers. What if the answer isn’t the exit from the waters but the innovation from the waters? What if what God wants to do in partnership in the face of difficulty goes far beyond stilling your heart and holds a promise of conquering the seas. What if he plans to change what you see as a threat into a resource?

Deep waters. He is with us. What can we do together?

Isaiah 43:1-2

Dreams and Mission

“What are your dreams?” is a usual question to ask a young person or a person in transition. But dreams are incomplete glimpses into lives and poor compasses for existence. Dreams lack grounding not in reality but in time. They naturally lack a beginning and an end. I want to be financially successful or write a novel or do something important lacks the grounding of “how?” Missing from those simple statements is the clear path of what kind of hard work will be required, what kind of transformation will be demanded. And they lack an end. What if you succeed? What then? No wonder we see depression after super bowls and many other smaller milestones.

The wise among us turn dreams into mission. Why is Dave Ramsey so wildly popular and successful? He puts the dream of financial success into the frame of the how and the strength of the what then. How? Get out of debt and save. What then? Build a legacy of generosity. If we want to draw a crowd of dreamers to our dream, we should brace ourselves for the disappointment and disillusionment such a limited vision will inevitably create. But mission. Mission lasts generations and creates greatness both individually and collectively.

Ghosting

It’s popular. It’s easy. It’s painless in the short term.

And like many things with that description, it’s a terrible practice. Your relationship, business contact, client, friend, Bible study leader, and even salesperson deserve better.

It’s not admirable to say goodbye in a clear and mature fashion. It’s the bare minimum.

Unfortunately, as culture shifts, what is minimum starts to look extra.

The Conundrum

There is something fundamentally core to us as human beings that does not wish to be controlled. We wish to live the lives we want to live without the interference of others. And yet, we also would like to control the behavior of others so that it does not interfere with our own. It’s a conundrum! And the more aware we are of this double standard, this paradox, this pull, the more likely we are as a society to make rules that provide the minimum interference and maximum freedom for the largest group of people possible.

If, instead, we determine that only people like us deserve freedom, and interfering with others is virtuous when they fail to think or act like us, we fall into tyranny regardless of our own perceived morality.

Philosophy and religion (and everything that is meaningful absent from true and pure science like calculating gravity or physics) both have the capacity to become liberators or jailers. The ability to tolerate the opinions and actions of those you hate or even feel threatened by is the hallmark of a liberator. A jailer reliés instead on shaming, censorship, and ultimately violence.

We have chosen each time a new philosophy has arisen to ultimately lapse into the role of jailer. Millions have died in the efforts of -isms and religions to liberate through the actions of a jailer. It does not work. The question for today as new philosophies and religions emerge and old re-emerge is whether we will repeat history in our certainty or whether we will allow the humility of history remind us that jailers only create prisons for themselves and everyone else.

We know better. And yet, we are allowing this to repeat again. An open society should result in offending everyone some of the time. Offense isn’t a sign something is wrong. It’s a sign you exist in an open society.

A few of my mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. How you learn from them is important. How you bounce back from them is crucial. Here are what I think are my top ten from the last 13 years of leadership in no particular order.

1. Assuming I knew what was going on

2. Not taking time off

3. Apologizing for holding people accountable OR lowering the bar to make them feel comfortable

4. Not confronting quickly OR Not confronting because I thought too much time had passed

5. Assuming people can figure it out just because I can

6. Failing to follow up

7. Eating the whole blame pie - in most situations everyone needs to eat their piece

8. Not grieving the losses - they are real and painful

9. Believing that other people could see what I see

10. Fixing squeaky wheels instead of leaning into core relationships

11. Not believing in myself and my own decisions

12. Allowing gossip

13. Carrying the stress home

14. Allowing failure to shake my identity

15. Letting other people report on important details without verifying myself

What are some of your biggest leadership mistakes? How have you bounced back from them?

Aligned Interests

If they make more money if you are upset.

If they make more money if you act against your self-interest.

If they make more money if you don’t solve your problem.

If they win if they get your attention regardless of the cost.

If they gain traction because of your outrage.

If they get power when you give it up.

Be careful

Be wary

Be skeptical

Your interests are not aligned. They aren’t for you. And whatever they are selling costs more than the listed price.

Dealing with Transition

When people leave, or things change, how should we respond? Here is the way we’ve decided to respond and the thought process behind that decision.

We have decided to be for people - cheering all the way through the season. That means blessing their next season with all our hearts even when it hurts. Maybe your best friend is moving. Maybe your star employee has a better offer than you can match. Here is a thought process that might help you to keep the relationship and soar through the transition.

Here is what we believe:

• There is more than enough

• God’s best for you robs nothing from me

• I can’t WAIT to see what is next

Here is what we do:

• Speak faith

• Listen closely

• Lead forward

Then let this remind you that your time here will end too. Doesn’t matter if you are talking about a church or job, you will exit one way or the other. So give it your best, never feel stuck, enjoy the moment.

And when you leave, do it with joy, knowing you left your last place better than you found it!

Gratitude Starts Here

Covid sucks. Can we just all agree?

But gratitude starts with finding and celebrating even what the difficult seasons have brought in our life.

The reasons we don’t are pretty simple:

• We are afraid that gratitude means we are GLAD something bad happened. No! Not glad about it at all! Want it to not have happened. But my gratitude for the good doesn’t add any justification for the bad.

• We are afraid of offending others. People have gone through real pain. Be sensitive. You don’t have to share your gratitude with everyone at every time about every thing.

Here are some things I’m grateful to Covid for bringing into my life (in no particular order):

1. Scones. I learned to make scones during lockdown. And they are delicious. Here is a link for the recipe. Oh and also biscuits.

2. Hand washing. We now all know how to actually and properly wash our hands (wrists included).

3. Grocery delivery. Shipt is my favorite thing. Not a sponsored post. Just the best money I spend in a month. I don’t get suckered into buying extra and I don’t spend time wandering the aisles. Also it has been a life saver in this formula shortage. (Love you Susie - that’s the name of my favorite shopper)

4. Increased domestic manufacturing of many essential products. I love international trade but I also love seeing domestic manufacturing take a huge bump. So many companies started over the last few years. Really neat to see the trend happen and continue.

5. Neighborhood love. I love and appreciate seeing and talking to my neighbors like never before. Every big party feels like a luxury. I love community! And I am so grateful for mine.

Try practicing gratitude even in the hard times - especially in the hard times. Pollyanna might be a movie but it’s a movie about a town that turned around. Maybe gratitude is what we all need in this season.

What are you most grateful for?

Amazing Tool Alert! Teach your kids gratitude with a game!

I recently met an incredible woman who lives in Austin. Amazing background. High capacity leader. High performing executive. Committed Christ-follower and mom of three!

She recently wrote a book and I couldn’t be more excited about it. It’s called Popcorn Gratitude. And I think I know what I’m giving away for Christmas to the nieces and nephews.

It’s a really cool game (that you probably play but don’t know it!) that teaches gratitude and creates a family tradition everyone will love.

This isn’t a sponsored post. I’m just THRILLED to let you guys know about an awesome tool that can help YOU on your journey to create grateful littles whether in your own home or in someone else’s. We all have a heart and responsibility to the next generation.

Check out the book and then let us know what you think!